you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
