Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
