you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
