69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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