It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
