I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize