Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
