So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
