I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
