i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
