I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
