Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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