My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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