just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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