I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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