Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
