Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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