Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
