For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
