im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
