I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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