Do you still have your period?
high people should be assigned attendants
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
