its not stalking. its research.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize