wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
