I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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