So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
