I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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