youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize