Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
