were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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