woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
