I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
