I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
