Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Randomize
