he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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