he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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