Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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