Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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