yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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