3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
