he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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