____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
