last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
