Screwed.edu
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
