She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
