sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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