I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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