he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
