So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
