He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
