What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
