they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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