Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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