so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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