Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
