Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
is it fun? or sober?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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