woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
