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• (925): View more from California

  so explain again why im purple

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  no

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  what drugs are you on?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen

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• (716): View more from New York

  I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Why are your pants in the freezer?

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Since when is my clitoris pierced?

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.

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