Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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