what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
