that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
