Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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