Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
