I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
