My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
