he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
