people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
