carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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