The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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