I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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