Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
