he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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