"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
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