All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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