ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
